January 2011
1 post
Life...
Im having a baby. Due April 5. Only 11 weeks yet. And don’t get me wrong I’m so excited… but the man I was in love with I don’t know anymore. He isn’t the same. Or maybe just not the guy I thought he was. But it sucks. It’s like I’ve lost my lover and my best friend. Maybe he has just lost interest in me. Maybe now that he has me its just not as exciting...
September 2010
1 post
ohboyyy....
life is so different these days. if i could go back in time i honestly would. im not saying im not happy… im glad im having a baby girl, i am… but its just everything is going to be different. everything has been different for almost a year now… and i dont think it has been a good different… but theres nothing i can really do about it now. i honestly think im loosing it...
April 2010
3 posts
“tomorrow is a new day..”
life
is crazy.
period.
February 2010
2 posts
what am i supposed to do?
what am i supposed to feel? is this the feeling of guilt. the feeling of lonliness. or the feeling of uselessness. im sitting here on pandora listening to meaningful music. thats probably the worst thing i could do right now… but its all i can do. its the closest thing i have to remind me of the good times… when i hear the lyrics i feel like im there. i feel like im feeling their pain....
this song sucks. :(
Tell em all I’m on vacation,
Say I went to visit friends,
That you ain’t heard or seen from me in quite a while,
When they ask you where I’ve been,
Tell em I’m out on the west coast where it don’t ever rain,
And that I’m probably doing fine,
(Chorus)
Just don’t tell em I’ve gone crazy,
That I’m still strung out over you,
Tell em...
December 2009
2 posts
lets just say
life is getting a little out of hand right now… i need to “push the brakes” as my bestbuy buddy would say lol. but anyways.. i moved back in with the grandma, about to start school in a few weeks. im kinda excited about it but i have a feeling ill hate it.
things are so different to me right now. im not used to being alone at all.. or curfew.. lol or rules.
it sucksss,
but...
wasted year?
so lets just say tonight was the craziest, hardest, most depressing day ever… i just cant believe how all this just happened in one day. it was like every minute got worse and worse. the bad things just never stopped!! i always put myself in these situations though.. i should know better. it just got so out of hand i couldnt stop anything.
idk what i should do. like part of me says just be...
July 2009
1 post
woww.
its been forever since i have been on this
lets see… i transferred schools. moved out and with my boyfriend. but might move back in soon because lease is almost over and i dont have my job anymore.
i got a pit bull. her name is mercedez. her and her brother got parvo. but is better now.
uhmm… im getting my GED. then idk what. probably get a job and save a bunch of money for...
February 2009
5 posts
and its tuesday again...
I have night school tonight :( please shoot me now. i guess it will be good though cuz i have some work i need to do and i wont ever get it done so even though its punishment, its still a good thing i guess.
lets see… i have been staying at justins for the past couple days. I feel so wierd being at school… and not being with him. Its like he is my only friend anymore. I rarely talk to...
i just realized
i am such a a jealous person. i mean i get so mad when justin even talks to some other girl. but i mean he does the same thing. but i didnt know i was just as jealous as he was. and now im super angry … i know i shouldnt be.. but why am i so so so jealous? idk… its bothering me a lot. i think im a very insecure person now. more than ever. idk.
i feel like i have lost all my friends...
:) another. how boring
1. Is there someone you wanna date right now?
already dating him
2. Why did you stop liking the last person you liked?
he broke my heart.
3. Do you still talk to that person?
no.
4. What are you listening to?
lil wayne
6. What are you doing right now?
filling this out?
7. Do you miss someone?
yes, even though im with him now
8. Are you keeping a secret from someone who needs to know the...
me&&justin survey
[IM THE FIRST ONE JUSTINS THE SECOND ONE]
Have you ever…
Had a cell phone? yes; yes
Drove a car? yes; yes
Ran away? yes; yes
Done drugs? yes; yes
Eaten baby food altho your NOT a baby? yes; yes
Worked on a car? not really ; yes
Had a crush on your teacher? yes; yes
Favorites..
Animal: penguin ; wolf
Name: londyn; kalista
Place to live: new york ; maui
Food: fettachini...
survey
Have you ever dated/or had a crush on a guy named Michael? yes. Do you have a favorite TV commercial? i dont remember any right now? Would you rather be called hot, cute, or beautiful? beautiful. How many times have you gotten detention in school? hahah in 7th grade i went to PAS seven times. does that count? lol Do you have a little sister? two half sisters. no sorry three half sisters, havent...
November 2008
1 post
country lyrics.
more like her -miranda lambert
shes beautiful. in her simple little way. she dont have to much to say when she gets mad. she understands. she dont let go of anything. even when the pain gets really bad. i guess i should have been more like that.
you had it all. for a pretty little while, but somehow you made me smile when i was sad. you took a chance. on a bruised and beaten heart. then your...
October 2008
1 post
...
its never been this hard to move on before…
and its like there is nobody to talk to anymore.
i feel so alone.
i feel like my life is just going down hill.
and nothing will stop it until i hit rock bottom.
:/
..
September 2008
1 post
fuck.
my life.
August 2008
2 posts
heartbreak.
he broke my heart.
i have had bad relationships in the past. but he made me so happy.
all i could think about was him and how he had made me smile the night before. nobody really knew how i felt about him. nobody ever will.
right now all i can do is cry and listen to this emo fucking music.
i just wish everything was how it was at the beginning.
sometimes i wish this emotion that im feeling...
oh boy summer is almost over
hmm. this summer has been pretty much amazing for the most part. i met sooo many new friends its crazy. i realized that im worth more than i thought i was. i get a bit stronger every summer. i learn new things. I got to see family i havent seen in forever. While there i met someone amazing. and i will never forget him. I can tell him anything. He will always be there for me, no matter how far away...
June 2008
1 post
well
its summer. thats all there is too it.
so many things happen during summer that doesnt in the school year. and its pretty crazy to see how far things go, and who does what…
i miss my car. i will get it back when i come back from florida, it will be waiting for me… not crashed anymore :p haha.
been doing some pretty crazy things lately. met some new people. they are so awesome and...
May 2008
1 post
hmm updating
lets seee. wow lots have changed…. im still pretty stupid. and i make the same damn mistakes, not only with the same person…. but with others. but… im not overlly attatched anymore. which i guess is good. i just… really wish highschool was over. im sick of this. i want the real thing. i want true love. i want someone that i can trust, that i know will always be there....
April 2008
1 post
diediedie
i really hope you DIE in hell. like forreall! you cant just use someone like that for so long… and then just pretend they fell off the face of the earth… thanks. you really know how to make people feel shitty. whatever and the sad part is… you think i would hate your guts and think i would never want to talk or see you again. but i fell for you sooo hard… that no...
March 2008
3 posts
deannaaaa!
kalista: whats up girllyyy.
sooo i have been thinking alot
and well… life really does have its ups and downs. sometimes i really hate life because something happens that really upsets me and then after time… im back to my happy self. well this time something happened i sware i will never be able to get over. but im really tryinggg. i already am broken inside i just want to be able to glue all the pieces back together. usually im really good at...
goodbye.
im sick of you not wanting to be there for me anymore. not wanting to talk to me. be a part of my life anymore. im sick that i keep trying to talk to you and all you do is ignore me and i keep trying and trying and keep getting hurt and hurt. i dont even know you anymore. and you think you know me. you think i have turned into something bad… but i havent… you really dont know anything...
February 2008
3 posts
this song is amazing:]
so
i told him how scared i was… and he actually talked to me. he made me feel so much better. see… he isnt a bad guy after all… so everyone needs to shut the hell up :] yeaaaah. and… i hate being sick. hahaa. sitting at home for just one day… has been miserable. let me tell you … hahaha :] anyways… lets see… im still scared. but… i shouldnt be...
uhhh
im sick again! uhhh :/ thats twice in like three weeks. blehh. so gay. grandma is outta town. so idk what im doing. cuz i dont wanna get everyone else sick :/ poooo. anyways… what else… im ready for my birthday to get here. im so young. lol and i feel so much older cuz i hang with everyone else older. so i might as well just get that age already! lol. and … hmmm i want it to be...
January 2008
5 posts
hmmm
things are pretty good :) i’ve realized friends are there for you no matter what. and i realized i have the bestest friends i could ever want. :] i realized and trevor hart helped me realize that no matter how much your friends change, you always have to stick with them. all the time. no matter what. and that is what im doing because that is what my friends are doing :] thank goodness. im so...
this is my new favorite song at the moment :)
uhmmmm
lets see. so far so good :) thats all im gunna say. heehee
hahaha :p god it just feels so good :D
i guess
im really starting this new year fresh. :/ part of me doesnt want to stop doing things. but another part of me does :/ so im going too. and hopefully i will build up strength to get over this. and… not let it distract me from school and stuff and not let it get me too down. so that is what im thinking right now. im going to be… something i want to be.. not something others want me to...
December 2007
6 posts
so i think today december 31'st
is the day im loosing ‘it’ yes it. oh my god. what am i doing
HEY YOU
YOU NEED TO GET OUT OF MY HEAD I DONT NEED TO LIKE YOU NOR DO I WANT TO SO PLEASE GET OUT OF MY MIND!! AHHHH [ i got a waiters number tonight :) ] but seriously i know who you are get out of my head ^ hahaha panty theif. deannna is funnnnnny ^ ok. GET OUT OF MY HEAD YOU CUNT!
today was the funeral
today was trevor’s funeral. left school. there were many many kids there… but it makes me mad that people left school and didnt even go to the funeral! like wow….like that is SO freaking disrespectful. anywayss… it was pretty sad. i cried a lot..i think the best part was when they asked for all the students and school faculty to stand so his family could see how many people...
rip trevor schor
it makes me so mad and sad to see people like trevor go. He was a good person, very helping and considerate of others. and people see him that day at school, giving him that same hug, that same hand shake, like they would see him next week, but they dont. they dont know its coming, they cant even say goodbye. Nobody saw this coming, nobody ever does. Even if you didnt know trevor, you should keep...
all i can say
is im proud of myself in a way. :] and that makes me happy.
hmmmmf
so yeah. nothing much is really new. lets see… i get my braces off tomorrow morning :) that makes me happy. lol. and hmm… we have been working hard for winterguard. kinda excitedd. lets see… christmas is pretty close. i love it…but the cold has got to go. i usually love the cold but this year…. no. haha… i have my permit. i drive all the time :) haha. pretty...
November 2007
4 posts
happy thanksgiving.
turkey day :D woot woot. but yeah. some thoughts? k sooo… i was talking to an old best friend last night. and… you know just catching up and was like, so did you hear? i was like…hear what? i got pregnant and had a kid. i was like.. oh wow. she is 16 years old… my age… like… i could not see myself having a kid right now. and she was like yeah. here are pictures....
turkey break
yeah im so glad its break. man i so need this break. the guard especially. we all just need time away from eachother before we kill eachother. last night wa the game in the cowboys stadium. playoffs. we won. ofcourse. and i got home at three am. ah. so tired. ahahahaa. and today im spending time with my grandma i think. so yay. supposed to hang with old friends this break. so that is good. and...
oh boy life
is pretty amazing. not going to lie. like today me and my grandma learned alot about eachother. like i told her alot. and there was no yelling.. like i was suprised. so yay [: and i love my friends. thats all i can really say. they are all i can tell everything now cuz everyone else disappeared. like they are so different … idk. but whatever friends stick with you through life [: yeah. and i...
byebye san antonio time
san antonio [: be gone all weekend. so yeah. im going to bed NOW. haha so i will be alive tomorrow. im real excited [: except nobody i really care about will be there. i really wanted mister weaver to come… because he is the only person that really makes me want to smile and perform, idk. its wierd. i guess i think he cares about me more than...
October 2007
6 posts
dangittt. i need someone to hug right now
you know at first i was just messing around, just thought it would be fun and adventerous, make me feel better because i knew i could do what i wanted and not risk losing anything….but no, i realized just now that i fell for him. I realize that when another girl walks out of his house, and the tears fell down my face, that is when i knew. i got too attatched, and he doesnt even know. he...
hmmmm
so havent wrote in a while. lets see. hmmmm good grades. did good on midterms. we have one football game left this friday against marcus then san antonio this weekend. that should be fun. halloween this wednesday. going trick or treating in castle hills. that should be fun too. had a costume parrty last night and the haunted forest. thought i lost my grandmas camera…it was a very stressful...
sometimes
Sometimes you just have to give up Give up and cry And stop trying Because you realize no matter how hard you try, Things won’t happen So why put forth the effort. Sometimes we realize the difference between good and bad, Yet we just seem to set it aside And look past it And not care about it. Im becoming confused Confused with everything Confused with things I shouldn’t be Even like...
been thinking real hard
&& i realized this is my life. i make my decisions. and i learn from my mistakes. you dont have the right to tell me that im doing the most stupidest thing in the world, because you know what…if i thought that i would not be doing it. what im doing, i want to be doing. so please just get over it and let me live my life. if you are my friend you will just be my friend, not my parents....
hmm lets see.
im really really tired. tonight…. well it was a great show for me. and ryan was there :D and he talked to me. but… the little incident… made my night suck. but then it got better because i stopped letting it bother me. blehh. im soo unluckyy ): i sware god hates me. and i have two dollars for tomorrows contest foood. hahaha great. i need a job. like bad. but yeah birdville...
hmmm some thoughts for you.
today was a good thing. i really needed to let things go. but … i couldnt let everything out… i mean i only trust to do that in from of you. not other people you know… and i feel like… i cant do that anymore. like… i cant let everything out anymore. because … idk i feel like he doesnt need all of the drama in my life plus his. because he has some right now. but...