Sometimes you just have to give up
Give up and cry
And stop trying
Because you realize no matter how hard you try,
Things won’t happen
So why put forth the effort.
Sometimes we realize the difference between good and bad,
Yet we just seem to set it aside
And look past it
And not care about it.
 
Im becoming confused
Confused with everything
Confused with things I shouldn’t be
Even like whether the picture I took was truly sideways
Or is the center actually straight?
 
Things are becoming blurry
A big blur right in front of my eyes…
I wonder,
Yet im still confused.
 
I just wanna know
What is it that caused this?
Why am I all the sudden afraid of life
What has happened?
 
Maybe it is a test.
Life, that is.
Like everything that you do
Everything you think
And everything you say
Is all a giant game,
A test,
And to be honest,
That scares the hell outta me…
 
 
And its weird being so confused and at the same time finding out so many things that I didn’t know…

And as far as learning all these new things inside of me,
I think it is probably a good thing.
I thought that this would defiantly be a pretty hard month… cause of all the stuff thrown my way, but I guess I’ve sort of changed it around. Things aren’t always going great for me but I’m learning to deal… and things that have happened to me before need to be left in the past…
I need to forgive and forget
And just pray to go that it doesn’t happen again.

I just wish that people would take responsibility for their actions. Seriously… when I pull my weight and I give my trust and my effort to people, I expect people to see it. And I expect them to be mature enough to do the same.
 
Don’t get me wrong,
I love my friends
And my family
I owe basically everything to them
 
Just sometimes you have to realize that it’s not all about you
And probably never will be…
As sad as it is,
It’s just the truth
Which is something I need to learn also.
 
There will always be the people that are nicer or prettier than you
And yeah, maybe they are they ones with the money, the boys or just the perfect family
But someday I hope you will realize, just like I finally have, that none of it matters in the end.
 
So please,
Stop trying
To be something your not
Because in the end they will find your personality and when they do, they want something strong and true.
 
Im not sure how long it takes
But im willing to wait
Because it’s worth it in the end.