you know at first i was just messing around, just thought it would be fun and adventerous, make me feel better because i knew i could do what i wanted and not risk losing anything….but no, i realized just now that i fell for him. I realize that when another girl walks out of his house, and the tears fell down my face, that is when i knew. i got too attatched, and he doesnt even know. he doesnt even talk to me anymore. is there really any reason for him too? ofcourse not. i think he got just what he wanted.

but for some reason i cant stop thinking about him. no matter how many people tell me he was just an ass, or he wasnt worth my time, or he is just another slob, i cant stop thinking about him. i cant stop seeing his face. i just want to run up to him and give him a kiss. i mean hell i know more than anyone he doesnt want a relationship with me, i knew he would have been like this, but i didnt know i would turn out like this.
and i cant stop thinking if i had done something different….that he
would still talk to me. i just want to know if he even thinks about me,
if he even knows or cares how i feel. and i ask myself, why am i letting
a boy make me cry, i have been taught better! no guy is worth your tears, but for once i was happy because i had nothing really to worry about, i wasnt really doing anything wrong, and i was having a good time. i was smiling more, i was looking forward to school, i was looking forward for that hug, but then they just stopped coming. no more hugs, no more texts, which meant no more smiles, nothing more to look forward too.

sometimes i just want to punch some guys in the face and be like you should have just told me, it wouldnt have hurt as much. you should just tell me you dont feel the same anymore, not blow it off and ignore me. that just makes me curious and feel like shit for so long. because girls dont give up that easy. we always think there is a chance left, because guys dont usually say what is really on their mind. and sometimes i think that would be a hell of a lot easier.

ughhh i hate when i get attatched to people like this. i was hoping for more than i got. i not only wanted what i got, but a friend aswell.
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